I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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