im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
