dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
