Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
