Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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