Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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