absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
