woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You are the jesus of drinking
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
