I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
