Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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