the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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