I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
