They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
