Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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