you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize