I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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