You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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