but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
