The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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