Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
