I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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