You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
God I need to hump something, right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
