OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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