i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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