He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
