let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
