i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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