There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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