I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
