turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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