Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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