Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
