Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.

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(260): We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs. http://tfl.nu/wdfj

Replies (9) Good night (1102) Bad night (3587)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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(256): I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me. http://tfl.nu/r79q

Replies (14) Good night (1324) Bad night (5564)
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(469): View more from Texas

She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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(469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx

Replies (15) Good night (1013) Bad night (4650)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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(781): she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser. http://tfl.nu/fqkl

Replies (116) Good night (3053) Bad night (20668)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.

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(402): my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/e85f

Replies (12) Good night (4747) Bad night (1008)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"

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(662): I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits" http://tfl.nu/79pd

Replies (40) Good night (11564) Bad night (1330)
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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(207): Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us. http://tfl.nu/mqg9

Replies (2) Good night (4345) Bad night (1204)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.

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(785): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call. http://tfl.nu/1vmr

Replies (8) Good night (3789) Bad night (1043)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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(605): the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom http://tfl.nu/jd2y

Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (2272)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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(306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv

Replies (6) Good night (1988) Bad night (909)
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(631): View more from New York

Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.

(1-631): View more from New York

I love your life.

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(631): Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad. (1-631): I love your life. http://tfl.nu/sy8e

Replies (10) Good night (1933) Bad night (631)
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(519): View more from Ontario

True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior

(226): View more from Ontario

Little bit of both

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(519): True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior (226): Little bit of both http://tfl.nu/0xgz

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (383)
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(772): View more from Florida

its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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(772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t

Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (360)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

She won. Twice.

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(519): Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition. (1-519): She won. Twice. http://tfl.nu/gb3x

Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (449)
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(710): View more from

my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am

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(710): my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am http://tfl.nu/adyw

Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (300)

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