Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice