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• (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will cut you

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Put that in perspective

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  No, I did. It's a long story.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand

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• (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening

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• (631): View more from New York

  Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging

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