im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly