Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
