Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
