May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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