Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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