How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
