Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
