It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
