I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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