you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
