so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
