oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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