i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
