put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i think my cat just said my name.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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