was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
as a side note pls kill me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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