Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
