You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
