just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize