we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
