MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
