? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
40s are totally the cure
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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