bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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