Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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