OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
