Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
