I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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