feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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