I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I party with great urgency now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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