hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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