yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
