i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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