Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
