i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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