Dual....:-)
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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